life     blog  

Hi!

Time flies when you have a blog. I'm postin' more doodles and drawings since that's how I seem to spend most of my chill out time these days. In the great year of 2020 all bets are off. Be horny on main. Live your best life.

Most of my other time is spent on wrapping up my work on Meat Boy, and delving deeper into the wild world of Pathfinder. I'm lucky enough to have two sessions of Pathfinder 2e each week with some great pals and I'm loving every second of it, which gives me great motivation to keep developing my Pathfinder web apps (which can be found at pf2.tools!)

I also recorded a new episode of the pgi podcast which should be going up on the internet any time now. It's been a lot of fun and incredibly insightful to talk in depth about role playing games with Jon! I think we dig into a lot of subject matter that is completely absent in the rest of the rpg community. I like to focus in on the underlying social dynamics that exist at the table 'cause I think all of those unwritten rules and expectations are what actually drives how we experience and play games together.

That's it for now. Stay safe out there!

  blog     life     adhd  

Hi!

I posted a bunch of doodles that I've had laying around for the past couple of weeks.

It's certainly been tough times out there. I have a hard time even expressing any of my own struggles with it since I know that I'm in pretty good circumstances all things considered. It is tough though. My ADHD has been totally scrambling my brain really hard lately, and my ambient level of anxiety is up quite a few notches.

I've been limiting my exposure to the ole social medias. Specifically twitter and reddit. I want to stay informed, but also I don't want to exhaust myself with keeping up with all of the suffering of the world. In order to be able to even combat that suffering in any way I possibly can, I need to make sure I'm not totally fried from taking in all of the details of it. I want to fight the good fight, and that means taking care of myself from time to time.

I'm also very nocturnal right now! It's 2:20 in the morning and I'm super wide awake. I feel like I hit my stride at like 1:30 in the morning these days. I think I've been in this schedule for maybe over a year and I'm not sure if I'll ever get out of it, but I think for now I'm okay riding it out.

Take care out there! More posts coming soon hopefully!

  life     blog     web  

Okay so I know I was supposed to get back to posting stuff here but... I'm still not happy with the system I have set up. I tried out this thing called Pico CMS which is like the lightest weight blog whatever system that I could find, but it's still super complex and annoying. To customize any part of it I still have to dig through a bunch of files and configs and the php code running it all is a gigantic nightmare.

So I think I'm just going to scrap it and go back to some super simple php thing I write myself but make it as simple as possible and just parse markdown files for all the entries which is essentially but Pico does but there's a lot of weird snags that I'm having trouble navigating for my use cases.

I know that I don't really get a lot of, or any, comments on my posts usually, but it would be nice to have some sort of comment system set up that wasn't relying on hacking through Pico's code, or some super bloated commenting service like Disqus or whatever. It's pretty wild how even the most simple things on the web are still convoluted nightmares. Now I'm off to google search some php questions that were answered on stack overflow 15 years ago!

  life     blog     web  

There are a lot of things to still figure out. I guess that is always the case.

I get into a habit of thinking way too much about what to write here. I still think of it as some sort of super official presentation of myself, so I tend to be very careful about what to share, but then I get stuck in an infinite loop of thinking about something, but then it never important enough to write about! I must break the cycle of despair.

Obviously my online presence has changed a lot in the past few years. I used to be very active on my blog and trying to write about what I was up to at least three times a week, but after a very long time of doing that it became very exhausting. I also came to dread the feeling of being behind on my posts, and frantically always trying to catch up. I know that this kept me somewhat productive and "on task" but it was also a big contributor to anxiety and feeling like I was never doing enough.

After I started treating my anxiety and ADHD issues, a lot of my perspectives changed. I pretty much gave up on the multiple posts a week thing, but then over time I eventually decided to retire the concept of my blog entirely. I came to a realization that things like updating my blog all the time and maintaining a strong-ish online presence was a form of managing my mental illnesses. Not to say that I was exclusively behaving in certain ways as coping mechanisms, but there has definitely been a significant change since starting on focused therapy and medication.

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I'm Kyle Pulver and this is my current home on the internet. I spend a lot of time working on Super Meat Boy: Forever. I also draw stuff, create tools and applications for tabletop role playing games, tinker with web development, as well as design and develop games of both the tabletop and digital variety.

I'm a cis bi boy currently residing in Seattle with my partner Corey. I have adhd and anxiety but I make it work most of the time. I'm usually down to talk about whatever so feel free to send me a message over email or twitter if you have any questions, concerns, comments, or accolades. I am not accepting criticism at this time.

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